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Tips on being safe at college

There are hundreds of topics we can talk about to be safe in college. I have taken some of the most important ones and have given them to you as a basic guideline.
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Physical Assaults

While the chance of a physical altercation is low, the position you put yourself in greatly increases your chance of being attacked. Parties, concerts late night ravenous, holiday stress, driving, international travel all have the potential of turning into an attack.

Maintain vigilance.
The worst thing you can do is let your guard down and make yourself vulnerable to an attack.
Do you stand out? If you look like a victim you will become one. An attacker is looking for an easy prey, someone who is un-aware of their surroundings and un-able to defend themselves.

On the other hand, do you look like you can take care of any situation? These too are targeted, but by a different type of attacker. In an active shooting or terrorist situation it's the "trained" individual that is neutralized first so they don't have the chance to thwart  their plans.

Have a Plan
  1. Do you know where the exits are from where you are sitting?
  2. Do you have a rally point with your friends, family or group in case you are separated?
  3. Do you have someone you can rely on to call in case of an emergency?
  4. Do you have an "emergency kit" in your home, car, bag, even in your pocket?

Having a plan for a catastrophic event is the key to survival. This frees your mind to handle the events at hand rather than trying to come up with "what's next".

Cyber Bullying

Putting yourself out there
It's funny how you can make a post on social media that is deep and inspirational and you'll only get two or three responses. But make a grammatical error and the whole world will let you know. Why is that? People want to feel significant. The most effective way for someone to feel this is by pointing out other peoples flaws.

If you are planning on starting a blog or a social media campaign make sure you can back it up with facts, real life events and intelligence, otherwise you are just asking for ridicule.

 The Cyber Troll
Yep, trolls are real and they're everywhere. Some people have nothing better to do than go through your social media life. Easy solution -Restrict your social media to people you know and trust. Don't fall in the mistake of allowing your self-esteem to be measured by how may "online friends" you have or by how many "likes" you can get.

Real Life Transfers to Cyber Life
Imagine you are in the lunch room and a fight breaks out. What's the first thing everyone does?
That's right, pullout their phones to record it! Then before you know it,  it's all over the internet. We are in the age of "anything you say or do will be recorded, blogged, tweeted and held against you- forever". Oh, and want to get a job? Most employers will search your social media looking to see what kind of person you are.

Be careful of what kind of spectacle you make of yourself, you never know what kind of enemies you have. The good news is that there are privacy laws to help protect us against.
Here are some tips to prevent online harassment or cyber bullying:

1. Don't use social media as your online diary
  • If you make mention of all the happenings in your life you are just giving someone ammunition to use against you.

2. Avoid using sites that allow "anonymous posts"
  • This just allows any random person to make comments and has no protective measures or accountability.

3. Use Google Alerts
  • This will e mail you any time your name appears online.

4. Remove as much of your personal information from free sites as possible.
  • here is a great link to see how: Here

If you feel you or a child is being targeted by cyber bullies here are some steps you can take:
  1. Take a screenshot of the attacks
  2. File a police report
  3. Contact the internet crime complaint center (IC3)
Here is a good resource for cyber bullying

Relationships

Ah, relationships. No one is loved and abused more than someone in a relationship.
Did you know that a person in a relationship is more likely to be attacked? By the person they are in a relationship with!

Many events contribute to relationship abuse: Money, jealousy, work, drugs & alcohol. I can go on but won't.

Basically what happens is a person gets close, you trust them then they take advantage of you. It could be stealing from you, hurting you even rape. This doesn't have to be someone you're in an intimate relationship with, it could be a friend, work colleague, even a family member.
Be careful who you trust. Don't share your passwords, schedules, life events and for the love of humanity...Don't let someone take or share pictures of yourself wearing less than a bathing suit, no matter how much you trust them-this never turns out good.

Date Rape
This is the event where there are two people in a relationship and one takes it too far and drugs and alcohol are almost always a factor. This is also most common on college campuses, fraternities, military bases, and organized clubs.
Avoiding date rape:

1. Go out in groups
  • Make sure you have some friends of the same gender with you. It's hard to take advantage of someone when there is someone else watching your back
2. Guard your drink
  • Don't leave your drink anywhere at a party or event. It's too easy for someone to slip drug in it
  • Don't ever take a drink unless you've seen it poured, even then make sure it's from the same place everyone is getting their drinks from. Remember, there is always a "special" bottle put off to the side for drugging an unexpected victim
  • If you're going to have a bottle of water to "avoid getting drugged", think again. Make sure you break the seal yourself and even check to see if it's been tampered with. Some attackers are pretty skilled at getting the caps off bottles without breaking the tamper seal
3. Have a plan (there it is again)
  • If things go bad, make sure you have someone you can call
  • Know where the nearest emergency medical center is in case you do get drugged
  • Capture as much information as you can about who you are with, what they are wearing, driving and where they are going
  • Tell a friend where you will be, who you will be with, what time you are expected back and what to do if you don't return

Catastrophic Events

These are events out of our control. Events like a car crash, mass shooting, terrorism and acts of nature. We cannot reasonably predict what, when or who these will affect but we can be aware of the warning signs leading up to these.

Natural Disasters
With the advancement of global predication technology it has make it easier to know when disasters may strike, but not all. Having a plan in place and preparing an emergency kit is a good start to surviving these. Here is a link to what's in my emergency survival kits.

Active Shooter & Acts of Terrorism
An active shooter event is where one or more is actively engaged in killing people in a confined or populated area. These events escalate and evolve very fast.
Unless you are professionally trained the best advice in an active shooter environment is to run, hide and fight back only when your life is in jeopardy.
This is where having a plan pays off
  • Know your exits
  • Know where you can hide
  • Know what you can use as a weapon if needed
When I was in the military overseas, my commander once told me that "everything is an indicator". This holds true everywhere! Watch for people who look out of place, wearing clothing not appropriate for the climate, changes in attitudes and behaving outside the norm.
Here is a handy reference guide from the FBI: Click Here

Dietary Protection

It doesn't make sense to learn how to defend yourself and make yourself safe if you are going to have heart disease, diabetes, high blood pressure, obesity, depression or anger issues.

Any of these things can dramatically shorten your life but they are ALL preventable.
Controlling weight, heart disease, diabetes, high blood pressure can all be controlled my monitoring your diet and getting exercise. Most college students gain a significant amount of weight because of the lack of just that, throw stress in the mix now you have depression, anxiety and anger.
This can all be avoided and reversed
1. Watch what you eat
  • Plan your meals rather that life getting in the way and having to get "fast food" because you don't have time for anything else,
2. Drink plenty of water
  • Water promotes a lot of things you're not aware of like blood flow, nerve and brain function. It will make you feel better, keep you warm in the winter, your skin will even look better. have bags under your eyes? it's because you're dehydrated- Drink up!
3. Put yourself on an exercise routine
  • Join a gym, go for frequent walks or hikes.The physical results of these activities may be obvious, but the mental and emotional benefits are tremendous.
 4. Have a buddy
  •  It's better to have someone that shares in the same life values as you to help push each other when it's too easy to just stay in bed.

Drugs & Alcohol

Drugs and alcohol are usually the beginning of the end.

Drugs and alcohol are some of the easiest habits to get into. From social pressure to addictions. Very few things tear families, friends and relationships apart more than drugs and alcohol.

Drugs are something to be avoided at all cost (I'm not talking about legal drug usage). The negative side effects of recreational illegal drug use are countless. From physical changes to mental alterations even legal ramifications. These can all adversely affect your future.

Alcohol is harder to avoid. When you are 21 you can legally consume alcohol although a lot of high school and college kids don't wait. Rarely does one think of the consequences of alcohol until it's too late. "I think I'm pregnant", "I need bail money", "I need a lawyer", "I need that tattoo removed", "I have to get that off the internet", "I texted you what!?" are some of the common phrases heard after a night of drinking.
If you're going to drink, have a plan (note the common phrase). If you are prepared, you will not end up doing something you regret.
  • Have money for a cab and have the cab company phone number in your phone
  • Have a limit of how much you will drink
  • If you're going to drive, the limit is ZERO!
  • Drink twice as much water as you do alcohol
  • Have a sober friend to keep an eye on you
  • Always, Always, Always have & use protection (I don't mean a gun)
Since we are on the topic of substance abuse if you're looking to stink, wheeze, suffer from lung disease, have horrible skin, poor brain function, tired muscles, weak bones and waste money - Than smoking is for you! Not much is more disgusting than smoking. Why would someone knowingly do something that slowly kills themselves?

Self Image

I once heard "if you don't like the way you look, get rid of all your mirrors". I don't believe that is to be taken literally but or that you are always more critical about the way you look than someone else is. You will always judge yourself harder than others do.

Who's to blame- The Media

With every commercial, every add, every beauty magazine someone is trying to sell you something to make you look or feel better because you are not good enough ho you are - That's Bull Crap! These ads are created so you will go out and spend money, they don't care about you- they care about your money.

The fact is you have been given what you have. The models in these ads have won the "genetics lottery", and what they don't have, Photoshop will fix.

Love who you are and what you have. Don't let someone else's opinion of what you should be or look like run your life, we've seen these people- shallow, self absorbed and depressed.
Here is an amazing TED talk from Jean Kilbourne, an expert on the subject:

Education

School gets hard when you're stressed and the easy answer is to quit. Do you want to be a poor adult, struggling to make a living?
  • High school dropouts earn about $9,200 less per year than high school graduates and about $1 million less over a lifetime than college graduates
  •  High school dropouts are twice as likely as high school graduates to slip into poverty
Do you want to work doing something you love —or something you could care less about?
  • High school dropouts were over three times more likely to be unemployed than college graduates
Do you want to suffer, unnecessarily? 
  • High school dropouts are also more likely to be in prison, on death row, unhealthy, divorced and single parents
  • Dropping out of school is associated with delayed employment opportunities, poverty, and multiple social and health problems, including substance abuse, delinquency, intentional and unintentional injury, and unintended pregnancy
  • Young female dropouts were nine times more likely to have become single mothers than young women who went on to earn college degrees
Make a self-defense decision: “I’m going to stay in school, no matter what!”
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332 PA 447
Newfoundland, PA 18445

908-707-8400
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