The Edge Center Blog
Concepts, Ideas & Meditations of Master Vince Damiano
All Humans want the feeling of significance. Whether within their peers, family, community or the world, even in life or death we want to feel important. Unfortunately, many seekers are misguided. A majority of those looking for significance only find it through mediocrity and they don’t even know it. What I mean by that is the attention seekers who may pour a bucket of cold water on themselves not knowing why and broadcast it over social media or collecting meaningless rewards on the newest phone app.
A better example of significance through mediocrity is the latest “clown craze”. Someone puts on a mask and scares a bunch of people and they feel empowered. Now- that’s been happening for years but once the media got hold of it and blew it into a global event everybody wants in. It’s a shut-in’s chance for instant fame and short lived glory.
So how do we find and know what real significance is? Easy-True and earned significance leaves us fulfilled. What I mean by that is that when you do something that is truly worth doing, it leaves you with a sense of accomplishment and satisfaction that cannot match the short lived adventure of less that empowering behavior. Basically its earning significance through significant behavior.
Now that we know what true significance is, how do we get it? You first have to be a significant person. You can’t expect to gain significance if your thoughts and actions are less than honorable. Do your actions only benefit yourself? If so, make sure that everyone benefits from your actions. Are you the “look at me” kind of person?
Take the focus away from you and highlight someone else or something that you were a catalyst for. I know that most of this takes more time than the immediately gratifying “bad” or “cool” behavior, but the reward is much better and longer lasting. Trust me, your future self will thank you for it.
Now you’re ready to lead a life of significance outside yourself, but don’t know where to start. Start with your family and friends. Do something for them that doesn’t benefit you. Make a daily practice of going out of your way for other people. You’ll be surprised on how fast it becomes automatic. Once you’re used to it, move out of your comfort zone. Volunteer at an elderly home or animal shelter. Participate in environmental clean ups, organize a special interest group. Start or contribute to a blog or build an empowering website.
The possibilities are endless once you get started. Before you know it you will be automatically contributing to significant activities without realizing it, and that’s where true fulfillment is generated.
If you need help generating Ideas or simply need a kick in the butt to get started- reach out to me, I’m here to help.
I hear from people all the time, "I want to make a difference in life" or "I want to revolutionize my business". I've met with and worked with a lot of professionals that had amazing new ideas but they never sustained. Why is that? The answer is not that obvious. They put all their effort into a new business concept or product but neglected one key element - Self Revolution.
For starters, wanting to change the world is a great mindset to have but when you fail to change yourself to match that world it won't last.
Want to make better children? Start with making yourself a better parent. Want to make better friends? Make yourself the friend you would like to have. Want better students? Make yourself a better student. See the pattern. I've found that in my own businesses, relationships & life - If want to make a change I have to start with me.
First things first- Start with the decision that you want to make a change, and I mean an honest no-BS decision with conviction and an absolute commitment to see it through.
Once you’ve made a mature decision to make a positive change in your life use these tools to make it happen.
Now you have to sustain and make this your everyday practice and put it to use. If you need help or guidance reach out to me Vince@theedgecenter.net
This is the 2nd part of moving forward with inspiration. I fully expect that the first six steps were put to use and practiced.
as always, contact me if you need and help
This topic is driven from a question one of my students asked "how do you stay motivated?"
The answer to the question was easy, I don't. Now that wasn't the answer expected so, being in a session the students know the power of questions so they asked a better one: "How do you stay Inspired?".
There lies the difference - Motivation is fleeting; Like a bath, it starts great but then gets warm and cold & dirty. Inspiration however, when true -will last as long as you decide its inspirational or fits your level that you need to be inspired to.
Here are the tools I use to stay Inspired. You may not need all of them. Just take the ones you need for any given life event and put it to work. You may find that one works all the time, or another doesn't fit your passion, and that's okay - it's like being a carpenter: Have enough tools for whatever you need to build or enough tools to share.
Ever read or hear a story and get goose bumps? That's the story touching and inspiring you. You feel it and know its truth. Even better, did you get misty eyed? That means that you see that story in your own life and find meaning that you can relate to.
Hit the gym, go for a walk, climb a cliff face, swim, beat up the bag - Just take some kind of action your mind will reward you for it.
You are constantly at war - Negative thoughts, setbacks, and a lack of ambition are the opposing force and you need a battle plan. You have your plan, now make a back-up plan. When things don't seem to be going your way- change direction.
With these first six principals applied and turned into habits anyone can be inspired to move forward with positive, life-changing momentum
Ever ponder what your life would be like if you only had ______? Ever get that feeling as if you actually had_____? You know what I'm talking about. That feeling that you get when you take ownership. The excitement you have when you see yourself "there". The Goose bumps you get when you finally "do". Funny thing really... You don't actually need what you think need to make yourself feel the way want to when you actually have it. Even more profound, ever get something you really want and find you're not as excited about it after you get it? Isn't it odd how emotions work?
How is this relevant to holding you back? It can be explained in one simple belief- It's not what you don't have that holds you back. It's what you think you need that holds you back.
I need to have a college degree to be successful.
I need a lot of money to start a business
I need a fancy car to feel important
I need the economy to be just right
I can go on but are any of these true? Absolutely not! If they're not true, then why do we put so much stock into these things? Simple -its socially accepted. Maybe not by you and defiantly not by me, but it's the norm. Even worse; most people will tell you these things just to hold you back so you are not as successful as them- Sad, I know. It's the everyday thinking that most people have. But you don't want to be like most people and neither do I!
How do we change this limiting belief?
First - Take an inventory of ALL your assets. I expect you already know where you're going or what you want. If not, as soon as you're done reading this contact me right away and we'll get you started.
Second -List out how all these assets will help you in your current endeavor.
Next-Take those assets and put them in the right place.
Now - Take action by putting these assets to use. Not just a little-but Massive Action! You want big results don't you? Well it's not going to happen by doing a little at a time. Don't list all these amazing tools and keep them in a notebook. That's like taking the ingredients to a cake and leaving them on the table to go bad. if you are not limited by your beliefs then there is nothing stopping you. If you need help, contact me at firstname.lastname@example.org.
Everyone has rules. Rules for games, rules for work & rules for life. Rules are used as regulations to follow that govern the conduct in a specific event. Soccer has a rules that you can only use your hands in certain events. Jobs have rules that you must show up and leave at a specific time. These rules keep us civilized, but are not the rules I'm talking about. The rules in question are personal rules. The ones that rule your life so to say.
I have met and worked with people with some of the most outrageous rules that it makes it almost impossible for them to feel happy or successful. Notice I said "feel" , not "be". You can feel anything you want, you just have to decide that you want to. I've heard a business professional once say that he needed a million dollars cash on hand at any given moment to feel successful (actually he said "be", but I didn't want to correct him due to the fact he was already so high strung). I have also known several business professionals that said as long as they have any amount of cash they felt successful. Who has their rules set up better to feel successful? I think the answer is obvious.
Now, let's look at some other common limiting rules and how we can make them serve us better.
School -"I need to have all A's to be successful" Do you think you can feel successful with some B's and maybe even a C? Sure can. Now I know what you're thinking... "My mom & dad said that I need all A's to be successful." Those are their rules, not yours. I know plenty of people that were straight A students that pump gas in my Ferrari ( I was a B & C student). Now don't get me wrong; it's important to have good grades, but when you are dependent on them to feel a certain way then you're setting yourself up for failure.
Home -"My wife/husband needs to happily greet me when I come home" This is very common. You have an expectation that is not being met. That's ok, you can have expectations but you need to be able to adapt and change the rules if things don't go your way. The easiest fix for this is ask "what does this mean?". Is your significant other involves in a task? Engulfed in a book? Or maybe just didn't hear you come home. Either way- don't hallucinate trying to figure out what's wrong, that's just going to make things worse by coming up with scenarios that don't exist. Instead, simply ask why they didn't greet you and explain why it's important to you and what feeling you get from it. Or you can simply make a new rule that says that just because my spouse or significant other doesn't greet me at the door, that doesn't mean that I'm not important it just means they have their own set of rules they are following.
Work or Business - I need to have a strong title to be important"
Oh everyone wants to have some kind of title before or after their name. I know that sometimes you need to identify who and what you are, but don't let it become you. Some people do it for ego, others to hide what they really do or to make you feel less important. If you're going to use a title, use it for a purpose and don't over use it. Otherwise people will get tired of you throwing your title at them and will not respect you for who you are only resent you for the title you hold. The military is known for this!
Finances -" I have to have $1,000,000 to be rich"
I'm only going to say one thing on this- Rich is a state of mind, not a state of wallet.
We could easily go on with the rules for everything but there are only a few principles to keep in mind when creating your own "life rules".
Make sure your rules serve you.
Take some time to evaluate the rules you live by. You may find out that what might be holding you back is nothing more than an old belief that no longer applies. You may be surprised how easy you can feel any way you want to just by changing what you need to make you feel that way.
I always make myself available for questions, contact me at email@example.com
You hear people say it all the time, "I have a million things on my mind" or "I have a thousand thing to do". Those statements are tossed around without any regard to what they actually do to us. Could you imagine what our brains would be like if we actually had a million things on our minds- It would be pure chaos, and if we had a thousand things to do- stuff would never get done. Then we get stressed.
We tend to inflate statements to either make ourselves seem busier than we are or to create a reason not to do anything at all- Crazy right? Well there are things we can do, immediately.
Make a list of those "thousand things" and you'll find you only have about five or six. Its called chunking it down. Kinda like eating an elephant- one bite at a time.
Not as stressful anymore? If you are, lets look at stress- Its actually a word we use for fear. You're stressed you'll be late for school or work? No- You're afraid of getting detention or fired. You're feeling stressed not being able to find a date. Try, you're afraid of being alone. Not everyone likes to use the word fear, it makes us seem week. The truth is there's power in words, but only the power you give them.
Now that you have a list of those five or six action items (notice I didnt say "to do" list) create a compelling reason to get them done. If the reason isn't strong enough, you'll never get it done and it will stay on your list unfinished and we know what that will cause.
The trick is clarity, certainty and absolute focus. If you have an item on your action list to get a new car- be clear about it. What color, interior, rims? What does it sound like? How do you feel driving it? How do people look at you in it? Be absolutely certain you can get it- Don't let any bit of doubt get into your thought, and don't listen to anyone who tells you that you can't. Finally, Focus- You need to see it every waking moment and in your dreams. this will drive the belief that you already have it and you will gain better resources towards its attainment.
Now of course that's an example of one item on one list. The same model can be used on the rest of the list, it just takes practice.
The Edge Center Martial Arts has a unique approach to its training classes. It's more of a personal development center than a karate school, martial arts just happens to be a good medium to teach with. We teach our students using positive dialog and inspiring drills that they can put to use in their everyday lives. A typical class is filled with live action self-defense scenarios, inspirational team building activities and positive life lessons. We use group building activities so that children can work on their communication, conflict resolution and even their creativity skills. Every students will have an opportunity build valuable skills that will assist them in many aspects of life.
The Edge Center is currently working on a positive role model project called "mission driven leadership" to get young students into the world to make a profound impact in their lives and others